dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
