i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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