apparently the secret to your success is patron
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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