Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
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