i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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