remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
