hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
