She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
