I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You're like the curious george of whores
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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