with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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