i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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