remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize