It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He felt like a one man threesome
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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