i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
