I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize