Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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