I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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