I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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