You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
