I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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