ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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