i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kiss
Puke
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
