I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
