I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A bitchslap is in order.
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