I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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