I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
