Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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