she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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