the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
