Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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