Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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