if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
