somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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