I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
