i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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