Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
