you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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