Do vagina's smell?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
