i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
