Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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