I think im going to throw up on grandma
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
