Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
