A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
