so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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