Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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