I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
