He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
