i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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