I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
