Whod you bang
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize