I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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