every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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