I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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