i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
