Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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