Jerry, you need to find god
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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