if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
