Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
