put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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