do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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