I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
